Odd children's books

Most of our kids books are pretty standard fare - Sandra Boynton, Dr. Suess, etc. But there are a couple that I just think are a little strange for kids.

One is The Snowman, by Raymond Briggs. This is one of those books with no words, which is great. We can make up stuff as we go along, and the boy (I think right now we're calling him Johnny) makes a snowman and has great adventures with him. Nice, huh? Except in the last frame he goes outside and finds his best friend melted.

Yay.

The other one that is strange to read to a 1 and 3 year old is The Giving Tree, by Shel Silverstein. Don't get me wrong, it's a nice story, but I find it to be quite sad. So of course the kids LOVE this book. It reminds me of the love story in Forrest Gump, where the girl uses Forrest whenever she needs something (especially when she goes back at the end of the movie) but goes away whenever she wants, and she doesn't really love Forrest (at least that's the way I see it). In this book, there's a tree and a boy. The tree loves the boy, and the boy just uses the tree whenever he needs something. He takes and takes, goes away for long periods of time, and then comes back when he needs something else.

Wait a minute, is that tree his parent?

Anyway, at the end the boy comes back and sits on the stump (that's all that he left of the tree), and the tree is happy again just because the boy is back.

What a dumb tree.

Wow, has it been that long?

Well, I suppose now that we've been in the new house for 3 weeks I should probably update this for posterity's sake. Hmm...what's different?

Nothing.

Well, Matthew is turning into a world class climber. The other day I was upstairs cleaning (okay, getting a Diet Mountain Dew) and heard Ellie shriek "Matthew needs heeeeellllp!"

I ran downstairs to find Matthew in his old high chair. Ellie calmly told me that he needed help getting down. Yeah, I can see that? How did he get up there?

"He just climbed up."

Uh oh. I always prided myself on the fact that Ellie stayed in her crib until she was 3. Never once did she try and get out. I guess it's time to get the duct tape out and strap Mr. Man down at bedtime.

Since the high chair incident, I've caught him climbing up into it a few more times, climbing on top of every table in the house, moving chairs to get up on higher tables, and bringing a stool upstairs to climb up onto who-knows-what.

We were at the park yesterday and a little girl (probably 7ish) was walking on top of the hand-over-hand ladder thing. I had to shield Matthew's eyes to prevent THAT notion from entering his head so soon. I'm not ready for that yet.

Oh my!

Me: "So, tell me what you did at preschool today..."

Ellie: "I slept with Alex today."

Boy, they are growing up fast these days!

Toilet time

The other morning before taking Ellie to preschool, nature was calling, and there was no way I was going to let it go to voicemail. So off I went, and as I was closing the door Ellie ran in behind me and said "I'll help you!"

Just what I needed - my last sacred "alone" spot ruined.

So I got things started, and then she yelled, "No! No! Wait!!! You're supposed to be reading a magazine!"

At least she's learning from the best!

---

That evening, Ellie was in the bathroom for the entire dinnertime, singing and doing who-knows-what. Despite my calls for her to hurry up, there was no getting her out, and this wasn't a battle I was prepared to fight. Whatever.

There were lots of comments that were wonderful dinner conversation - "Ellie, are you peeing? Pooping?" "Yes pee! No poop!"

Finally, and I really mean finally, because I was practically ready to go to bed at this point, I heard the toilet paper start spinning madly, followed by, "Uh, hey! I think I pooped!"

OK, it's not so funny for anyone but Sharon, but she made me post this so she could laugh about it.

If only I could get away with this!

Sharon: "Ellie, what the heck are you doing?" (Ellie is covering her ears with her hands)

Ellie, pointing emphatically at Sharon: "Trying to make YOU be quiet!"

The doctor has surely seen worse

So Matthew went in for his 18 month appointment on Friday. He'd already been sick for a couple of weeks, apparently (hint, hint, note the foreshadowing) with what I had also come down with - a super-cold. The Mother of All Colds. The "call your wife and have her come home early from work because you can barely make it to the car to pick up the kid" cold. Anyway, he was still kind of sick, so I figured that it was still worth going to get him checked out, even though we wouldn't get the shots.

He has 2 ear infections. Whoops.

The child is a trooper, I have to admit. Other than poking his ears a couple of times, he didn't seem like he had any more than I did. Well, he's teething too, but other than that...

So we are at the doctor's office, and Ellie was out of school because of the huge "winter event" that didn't end up happening, so she came with us. Not to be outdone by 2 ear infections, she barfed at the doctor's office.

Sorry, she "barfded." While I was getting Matthew naked. OK, it wasn't the first time that day, but I thought she was empty.

So here's what I don't get. If a kid barfs at the doctor's office, wouldn't you expect that they'd kind of clean it up really well? I ended up cleaning it up with some wipes, then asked for some clorox wipes (explaining what had happened). They brought me some, I wiped the area down, and then they sprayed some Lysol around.

That was it. EEWW! Had I mentioned that Matthew was running around naked? In an office where goodness knows what had happened, and how poorly it had been cleaned up? Bleah.

You know what's worse? I forgot to wash BOTH kids hands before eating lunch later. What the heck is wrong with me?

(although at least I Purelled them)

She's growing up...

"I already peed, Daddy! Now I'm pooping again. I want to poop a lot of times. Could you please get out of here?"