Her Cup Overfloweth
“Today Ellie pee-peed too much. 6 times am, 5 times pm.”
Yes, that’s the actual note we received from preschool. Yes, they used the word “pee-peed.”
Time for the doctor’s office, and of course we needed to get a urine sample, so the three of us (Did I mention Matthew went too? Because one kid just isn’t enough fun when you go to the doctor…) went into the doctor’s bathroom. Those of you who have taken Ellie to go pee in a public restroom, and it had better just be you Sharon (hi, can you bring home some Diet Mountain Dew after work?), know how much she freaks out at the thought of a public toilet.
Yep, she freaked out.
As soon as we shut the door she saw the industrial strength toilet and went bonkers! Things got really fun when I told her the doctor said sitting on the toilet backwards would make the collection easier. I thought for sure someone was going to break down the door to make sure I wasn’t hurting her. DON’T LET ME FALL IN THE TOILET! DON’T LET THE TOILET FLUSH DON’T LET ME FALL IN I DON’T WANT TO SIT BACKWARDS DON’T LET IT FLUSH DON’T LET ME FALL IN NOOO AAAA NO I DON’T WANT TO PEE! She made life more interesting by putting her feet together at just the right time so they almost went into the toilet instead of on either side.
Meanwhile, Matthew was happily playing with the water faucet with those big, neat medical handles they have. Thank goodness he has my attention span.
Anyway, after something like what I imagine happens at the zoo when they need to collect urine from an angry badger, I got the specimen and got Ellie off the toilet. As soon as her feet touched the ground she calmly got dressed and said, “That wasn’t even scary!”
So I flushed while she was in there. As she was running out she said, “But I don’t want to do it again!”
(The classic part of this was that the needing to pee over and over was all in her head. Apparently potty training Matthew made her feel like she had to go 500 times a day. Argh.)
Sit on the toilet backwards? Easier? Explain, please. My curiosity is piqued.
Ahh, yeah, I can see how that would be confusing. Sitting backwards forces her to keep her legs on either side of the toilet rather than being able to clamp them shut. So I can get in there with the little collection cup a LOT more easily. We tried it forwards once and it was terribly difficult.