Daddy Is Tired

Wearing my sleep shirt, shorts, and bathrobe, I found myself walking down Hearst Avenue in Berkeley last night.  I didn’t want to be late for the lecture, but it wasn’t in Davis Hall like I thought.  It seemed like I should head down the hill, so away I went.

Fortunately, I saw Willard Scott directing traffic at the intersection with Euclid.  I went up to him and he said, “Follow me!  I’m on my way to the lecture right now.“  Thank goodness!

As we walked up Euclid, we stopped by a parked car where Willard watched a couple getting it on.  It was weird, kind of like watching porn with your parents, so I kept trying to get him to get going.  He just gave me his “eyebrows up Willard grin” and we kept walking.

We finally got to the lecture, which was being held in some interior design firm’s building.  Although Willard’s code wouldn’t unlock the door, I rang the bell and we went in.  We walked through the spiral hallway to get to the lecture hall (I’d never seen cubicles set up in a spiral shape before), and it was a pain to have to walk around the building so many times just to get to the center.  Stupid interior designers.

Just as we got to the lecture hall, I realized I’d left my phone somewhere.  I told Willard “STAY RIGHT THERE!” (I had to yell because he was having a problem focusing) and I ran back through the spiral to get my phone.  As I was running I heard my phone ring.  It was in my pocket the whole time!  Silly me.

On my way back, there were suddenly a lot of college aged girls sitting in the hallway – good thing I was wearing my nice robe.  But when I got back Willard was gone.  That rat was supposed to wait for me!  I arrived just in time to hear my old boss, Larry, introduce the speaker.  As I searched for a seat, I saw a couple of friends (Patricia and Rob) from Berkeley.  I tried to sit next to them, but the woman to their left wanted to keep an empty seat by her.  The woman to their right, however, moved her fuzzy blanket (she was stretched across several seats sleeping) and made room for me.

As I was sitting there, I remember seeing a lot of people I knew from the past, but don’t remember who they were.  Only Patricia and Rob.  The lecture must have been boring, because I ended up making fart jokes with Rob, who had moved to the row in front of me and was peeking above the seats like a 3 year old.

I know you’re dying to find out how it ended, but that was it.  I sure wish I knew where Willard went!

We were watching some ice thing on the Olympics last night.  I think it was pairs figure skating, but it might have been ice dancing.  When I asked Sharon she told me…obviously I don’t care that much…but I asked what the difference between pairs figure skating and ice dancing was.

She began trying to explain about the “different kinds of jumps, different turns, the…”

My eyes glazed over.  All I know is that in both “sports” (yes they’re in fantastic shape, but sorry…it’s not a sport*):

• The men wear “fancy” outfits.
• The women wear outfits that look skimpy but aren’t.
• They do crazy things on skates that normal people can’t do.
• They skate around to music I’d never EVER listen to.
• The announcers’ comments are so stupid they actually lower your IQ.

Yep, the two sound wildly different, dont’ they?  I suppose it’s entertaining to have on in the background, but the only thing I really enjoy about fancy ice skating in the Olympics is getting to hear people say “Dick Button” on TV because…well, if I have to explain it, forget it.

*Don’t worry, I’m not just picking on ice skating – there are lots of “activities” at the Olympics that aren’t “sports.”

I suppose I should start the post by saying I accidentally typed “It’s Been So Loin” the first time around.  Oops!  Paging Dr. Freud.

So this is my first post of the new year (here at least), and guess what – NOTHING IS NEW.  I know, it’s a shock.  Things are still going well with the kids, the wife, the exercise…well, if you don’t count my knee issues.  I knew it would only last for so long, although it’s a different problem than I’ve ever had.  I have an appointment on Thursday to find out what tendon or ligament is doing funny things to me.  Fortunately it’s not causing any knee instability or weakness…it just feels weird when I straighten it all the way.

Anyway, I wish I had more exciting stuff to write.  Or maybe I don’t.  Sometimes boring is good.

My Fashion Experts - I have no idea how I have nothing interesting to write with them around!

There are so many “best of” lists I figured I’d better get one out too.  So in no particular order, here are my favorite years of the 21st century (so far).

1. 2001
2. 2002
3. 2003
4. 2004
5. 2005
6. 2006
7. 2007
8. 2008
9. 2009

It’s too bad that 2000 wasn’t in the running, but it missed the cutoff by one day.  Too bad, 2000.

In 2009 I became a runner.  Despite never having run before, I began in May thanks to Kristen and the Shredheads – since then I’ve run 440 miles (yes I keep track).  While I now “enjoy” running for the heck of it, it’s easier to stay motivated when I have a race coming up.

So when a friend (the same one with whom I ran my first race ever) said she was doing a 10K in December, I jumped on board.  We signed up for the Jingle All the Way 10K, billed as an easy course that would be good for setting a personal record.

Race day, 33 degrees and rainy.  Somewhere around 4,000 people showed up for the race…so it was CROWDED.  By the time we got done using the portapotties, the race was about to start.  We were walking toward the start line when we saw people begin running, and it was about 3 minutes after the race started that we finally made it across the start line (thank goodness for chip timing).  Unfortunately, we were still in a solid mass of humanity…I could have picked up my feet and been carried along.

Anyhow, it was completely packed until just after the turnaround.  I did my best weaving around people, and even ran on the grass for some decent stretches, but there were times I just couldn’t get around.  Of course that doesn’t just mess up my time, but it messes up my rhythm and pisses me off as well.  GET OUT OF MY WAY, IDIOTS!

I started to feel pretty tired around mile 4…fortunately there were lots of beautiful women doing the race, and I didn’t want to look like a wimp in front of them.  So I kept running.  By about mile 5 I felt like I might set a personal record, so that kept me going.  In fact, I was sure I was going to beat my previous time by about a minute!  I cruised through the finish line and felt good, so I ran back until I met up with my friend so I could run with her to the finish line as well.  We met up with her family and walked back to the metro, stopping in front of the Lincoln Memorial for a quick picture with the Washington Monument in the background.  It was ridiculously cold and rainy by the end, but it was fun to have a sixth race done in my first year.

Wow, my jacket sure is bright!

Oh yeah, so my beating my previous time by a minute?  I had remembered my previous time incorrectly and ended up missing a personal record by 5 seconds.  FIVE LOUSY SECONDS.  DAMN!

Anyway, to recap the year here are my race results…not bad for someone who’s NEVER run before May 1st!

06-20-2009: Run for the Rainforest 5K: 28:48 (9:16 min/mile)
09-26-2009: Clarendon Day Run 10K: 55:11 (8:53 min/mile)
11-01-2009: Race for a Cause 8K: 43:23 (8:44 min/mile)
11-08-2009: Race Against the Odds 5K, 25:32 (8:13 min/mile)
11-26-2009: Arlington Turkey Trot 5K:, 25:33 (8:13 min/mile)
12-13-2009: Jingle All the Way 10K, 55:16 (8:54 min/mile)

Am I the only one who sees something odd about this picture?

Yes, officer, I can identify Papa Smurf's private parts.

And yes, I had to buy this one instead of the “regular” neti pot simply because the picture was awesome.

With the holidays approaching, the kids are learning about the meaning of Thanksgiving in school.  And by that, I mean they’re coloring handprint turkeys, making little pilgrim vests, and coming home with feathers glued to various body parts and/or clothing.

But yesterday was different.  Ellie’s new teacher – a wonderful Bolivian (?) woman with a beautiful accent – began teaching them the story of the pilgrims.  I know this because when I picked her up Ellie ran up to me and said that “half of the continents (colonists) died, daddy!”

It’s a good thing it was psychologist day.

On the way to the psychologist, Ellie told me the story (for the 4th time) how half of them died.  I pointed out that back then life was hard and that they didn’t have everything we have, like refrigerators and cars.  When she heard that, Ellie rewarded me with the end of the story:

“Yeah, they didn’t have cars so they had to ride around on sheeps called May Flower.  And the sheeps feet were almost to the bottom.  (?)  And after they died there were only 4 women but they couldn’t go to dinner because it was their job to cook it.  And that’s why we celebrate Thanksgiving.”

What a wonderful holiday story.

Edit – I should point out that Ellie was very excited about this story.  Rereading this it doesn’t come across that way, but she was.